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Love Languages

This week, the G.I.R.L.S. Club had a self-esteem speaker come in and talk with the girls about “love languages” and affirmation. This is an important factor for young girls because they often struggle with knowing how to get their needs met, and how to meet the needs of others, in both romantic and non-romantic relationships.

The speaker asked the girls to take a quiz on their love language, and all the results pointed to the girls having a high need for affirmation. The speaker explained that what these results told her was that the girls had a need for hearing encouraging and loving words. The speaker said that girls who score high in the affirmation division often give out affirmative responses to their friends and loved ones, and asked if this was true of our girls. To which the girls responded that they did.

However, when asked to give words of affirmation to their friends, the girls struggled. As I sat back and watched this exchange, two things came to my mind: one was that maybe the girls do know how to pass out affirmative words but did not want to do it under pressure. But the other option is that the girls may want to speak affirmative and encouraging words, but are not given them on a regular basis and therefore struggle giving them to others. Option two shows why Gwen’s Girls is so important – if a child is not receiving encouraging phrases at home at least they are exposed to it in a program like Gwen’s Girls where a seed can be planted and cultivated to help these girls learn such things.

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St. John’s University Visit

On Tuesday night, the senior girls participated in a focus group about healthy and unhealthy relationships. During this session, the girls were encouraged to speak freely and openly about their ideas on relationships.

One idea they discussed was how to tell when relationships become unhealthy, and some of the ideas the girls came up with were possessiveness, abuse, and pressure. During the discussion the girls were asked what they think this kind of relationship could do to a girl’s self-esteem and they explained that it could cause doubt and depression. They then were asked to discuss what they could do if they began to feel this way, and the girls explained that they needed to seek help from friends, family members, church organizations, and people they look up to and trust.

After discussing negative relationships, the girls discussed positive relationships and what positive relationships did to their self-esteem and mental health. The girls said that it was nice to have support because it gave them confidence and made them feel good. The girls really opened up and enjoyed being able to talk to the group facilitators.

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